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East Bay Family Law Blog

Find a way to keep your patience in custody matters

Life as a single parent due to divorce isn't easy. You have to do what is best for you and your children, but this can be a challenge since you don't have anyone there to lend a hand. Not only do you have to deal with the demands of caring for the children, you also have to deal with your ex over custody matters.

Finding methods to keep your patience intact can take trial and error. Try to remember what works so you can use these methods again.

Deciding what to do with your home in a California divorce

Real estate in California is somewhat notorious for carrying a steep price tag. Even smaller communities in rural areas have higher housing prices than many other states in the country. For homeowners, that substantial value for the marital home is a good thing, as it represents a pool of established wealth.

However, it can lead to major complications when it comes to divorce. It is likely that both spouses hope to retain the house or at least a fair share of the equity in the property.

7 tips for handling your divorce

Getting ready for a divorce and actually going through one are very difficult situations. For many people, the journey is long and complicated. There are several ways that you might be able to take some of the stress off your life while you are doing this.

Proper planning is one of the best things that you can do when you want to end a marriage. Whether you are getting ready to file or are in the middle of the matter, consider these important tips:

  • Gather financial documents. This makes it easier to go through the property division phase and to ensure that everything is being divided. It may also help you to determine whether your ex is being fully truthful on disclosures.
  • Find your focus. Everything you obtained in your marriage needs to be addressed. You need to decide what is most important to you. As you are thinking about every aspect of the marriage, you might realize that you don't really care much about the material things. Still, you need to think logically about the future to determine what you need to fight for.
  • Plan for the children. Child custody matters lay out the plan for your child's future. Make sure that you are willing to remain flexible so you can do what is best for the kids. It isn't likely that either you or your ex will get everything the exact way you want it, so decide what you need to stand firm on in these matters.
  • Remember that self-care is important. You need to take the time to care for yourself. This can be as simple as relaxing when the kids are with your ex or going away for a weekend.
  • Watch what you say. Everything you say during the divorce can help or harm you. It is easy to voice your frustrations to anyone who will listen; however, be careful when you decide whom to speak to. Friends who are also amicable with your ex might not be a good option here.
  • Avoid belittling your ex. If you have children, your ex is still their other parent. They don't need to hear you speak insensitively about your ex. Ask your family members and friends to avoid saying negative things about them, too.
  • Address your feelings. You will likely experience a wide range of emotions during the divorce and in the period afterward. Find ways that you can work through them, even if you need to go to a mental health professional.

Long-distance parenting is possible with virtual visits

Life's circumstances sometimes lead to a parent being pulled away from their children. This can be due to a military deployment or the need to move for a job. No matter what causes the distance, parenting becomes a bit more challenging.

Fortunately, we live in a world that has many possibilities for keeping the parent in touch with their children, despite the miles between them. Using these options can strengthen your relationship with you children even when you can't be there in person.

Do-it-yourself versus attorney-assisted divorces

The decision to go through a divorce isn't easy for any couple. One of the most challenging things you will have to decide is the manner in which you will execute the divorce. There are two primary ways that you can do this. One involves a do-it-yourself divorce. The other is that you can hire a divorce attorney.

There are pros and cons to each. If you are weighing your options, you should think carefully because your future could be greatly impacted. Here are some points to consider:

Challenges unmarried parents face in child custody situations

It is easy to associate child custody cases with parents who were married, but this isn't always true. Those who have never been married will go through the same process if their relationship dissolves.

For unmarried parents, there are different considerations than cases involving married couples. Here are a few things to know if you are in this position in California:

Understanding community property and relationships in California

Planning for your marriage should begin before the day you walk down the aisle. Even without a wedding, you must take care of these matters if you are entering into a domestic partnership. It doesn't matter if you are going into the union with assets and debts or if you think you will amass them during the relationship, taking the time to work out a plan now can be beneficial.

California is a community property state, which means that both parties in the relationship amass debts and assets as one entity after the union. Even though there is the assumption of community, there are some types of property that can still fall under the separate property classification.

Don't fall for some common child custody myths

Going through a divorce is a difficult situation, but it is even more challenging when there are children involved. If you are in this spot, it is imperative that you don't fall for any of the common myths that circulate about child custody.

Making sure that you have your facts straight can help as you make decisions about your case. Trying to base your decisions off of someone else's circumstances can be devastating because there isn't any guarantee that your case will end the same way.

Supervised visits require careful planning and consideration

Child custody cases can sometimes be very difficult matters to manage. When there are accusations of domestic violence or abuse, there is a chance that the court might order supervised visits. These aren't the ideal method of spending time with your children, but they are better than being unable to see them at all.

One thing that is going to make a difference about how your supervised visits go is your attitude. If you go into them thinking how horrible they are, they are going to be rough. If you take the time to plan for these times to enjoy with your children, you will likely find that the visits go better.

The most common child custody issues in California

As a parent going through a divorce in the state of California, it is likely that you are dealing with the child custody process for the first time. If this is the case, it is important that you take time to understand the child custody process, learn how key decisions are made by the courts and what are the most common issues known to arise.

When it comes to establishing the custody of the child, a judge's main goal is reaching a decision based on what is in the best interests of the child. This means that the judge will acknowledge that, in most cases, contact with both parents is in the child's best interest. In addition, he or she will try to find out what might best suit that particular child.


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