East Bay Family Law Blog

Divorce is a time of transformation, but you have to be sure that you are making the best changes for your life. If you have children, you need to think about how the changes will impact them. Your parenting style is one area that might transition during this process, so keep a close eye on what's going on.

When your marriage breaks up, you need to evaluate your parenting style to determine what you want to keep and what you want to change. Once you know this, you have to make a plan to move toward that new style.

Coming to the realization that your marriage is over isn't an easy one for anyone. There are times when one spouse realizes that they aren't happy but the other is still living in the land of bliss. This is a challenging situation and one that requires careful planning.

One of the things you are going to have to do if you are in this situation is let your spouse know that you want a divorce. The emotions involved will make it difficult, but you will likely feel better once you get everything off your chest.

Life as a single parent due to divorce isn't easy. You have to do what is best for you and your children, but this can be a challenge since you don't have anyone there to lend a hand. Not only do you have to deal with the demands of caring for the children, you also have to deal with your ex over custody matters.

Finding methods to keep your patience intact can take trial and error. Try to remember what works so you can use these methods again.

Getting ready for a divorce and actually going through one are very difficult situations. For many people, the journey is long and complicated. There are several ways that you might be able to take some of the stress off your life while you are doing this.

Proper planning is one of the best things that you can do when you want to end a marriage. Whether you are getting ready to file or are in the middle of the matter, consider these important tips:

• Gather financial documents. This makes it easier to go through the property division phase and to ensure that everything is being divided. It may also help you to determine whether your ex is being fully truthful on disclosures.
• Find your focus. Everything you obtained in your marriage needs to be addressed. You need to decide what is most important to you. As you are thinking about every aspect of the marriage, you might realize that you don't really care much about the material things. Still, you need to think logically about the future to determine what you need to fight for.
• Plan for the children. Child custody matters lay out the plan for your child's future. Make sure that you are willing to remain flexible so you can do what is best for the kids. It isn't likely that either you or your ex will get everything the exact way you want it, so decide what you need to stand firm on in these matters.
• Remember that self-care is important. You need to take the time to care for yourself. This can be as simple as relaxing when the kids are with your ex or going away for a weekend.
• Watch what you say. Everything you say during the divorce can help or harm you. It is easy to voice your frustrations to anyone who will listen; however, be careful when you decide whom to speak to. Friends who are also amicable with your ex might not be a good option here.
• Avoid belittling your ex. If you have children, your ex is still their other parent. They don't need to hear you speak insensitively about your ex. Ask your family members and friends to avoid saying negative things about them, too.
• Address your feelings. You will likely experience a wide range of emotions during the divorce and in the period afterward. Find ways that you can work through them, even if you need to go to a mental health professional.