Dividing parenting responsibilities after your divorce can be stressful and even a little painful. After all, both parents want to spend as much time as possible with their beloved children.

There may be a number of difficult hurdles to overcome in establishing a co-parenting arrangement that is fair to both parties. Setting aside your differences may not come easily, but it is important to reach a compromise for the sake of your children’s upbringing. There are three telltale signs you can search for to gauge if your dynamic is one that is healthy for you, your former spouse and your children.

You both strive for flexibility

Keeping a schedule of your parenting responsibilities is important for maintaining a fair share, but flexibility is just as vital. Willingness to adapt your respective schedules without conflict is a good indicator of mutual respect in your relationship.

You seek agreements on important decisions

In a healthy co-parenting dynamic, both parents have the right to weigh in on decisions that can impact their child. This may range from choosing a babysitter to participating in a school club. Taking the initiative to consult with one another before making such decisions is a great sign.

Your child has positive relationships

The American Psychological Association recommends cooperation, communication and mediation for a healthy divorce that lessens stress for the children involved. You can be confident in your role as a parent when your child has an equally positive relationship with both you and your former partner.

It can take time to build a healthy co-parenting dynamic after a divorce. Reaching a fair settlement smoothly is the first step toward normalcy for your children after a painful split.